


Think Again

by Genie60



Series: Poldark Series 2- Dribs and Drabs [6]
Category: Poldark (TV 2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-17 14:20:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8147257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genie60/pseuds/Genie60
Summary: Season 2/Episode 4 filler--a continuation of Ross' smuggling night scene. 
 My thoughts on what might have happened after Demelza  left Ross standing in the parlor after telling him to "Think again."





	

He heard the door slam after she ran out of the room.  He hesitated but an instant before deciding that this disagreement needed to be finished and not left to supposition.  Dropping his hat on the one settle that was left in the now sparse parlor, he bounded up the stairs to their bedroom where he knew she had retreated.  Opening the door with extra care, he stepped in and found her lying on her side, eyes closed, a hand draped over her ever growing belly, her fingers caressing their child.  She was humming a soft tune, one he hadn’t heard before.   Seeing his wife’s face, relaxed and serene, it seemed unreal to him that 6 months ago the thought of another child was unwelcome.  How could he have doubted that this is what was needed?  This is what was wanted?  In this instance his wife was the wiser of the two.  She knew that a new life would bring just that; a new life to them all.  This coming child would not replace Julia and all that she was to them, but would reinforce the love they had for each other and allow them to share the love they had for Julia with this new son or daughter.

He hadn’t told her but he secretly hoped for a son; another daughter so soon would be too much for him to cope with.  It had surprised him how much love he had held for their first born even for the short period of time she was with them.  But he shouldn’t have been caught that unaware because since meeting the woman whom he stared at now, he had realized love in so many ways.  And it was because of this love that he knew he had to make amends for this latest row. Because she was right.  Again.

He walked carefully across the floor and called to her.

“Demelza?” 

Not getting a response he sat gingerly on the bed next to her.  He reached over and covered her hand with his, joining in the adoration of their child.  His gaze moved from her abdomen up to her face just as her eyes fluttered open.

“Ross,” she said in a hoarse voice. He could see the red rimming in her eyes and deciphered that she had been crying; something that happened too frequently in the past months, usually from his actions or words.  He flashed back to the night at Trenwith where she finally revealed she was with child.  This coming after he had spent more time than he should have with Elizabeth, toying with what might have been and wondering if life would have been different had he married her and never found the urchin on the street.  The guilt he felt that night, knowing that his mind had betrayed her if only for an instance was still with him in some way.  How he could entertain thoughts of another woman, another wife, another life when he knew this fiery red head with her own mind and a temper to match his was truly his life, was beyond him.

He moved slightly to allow her to roll onto her back and push to sit up. Automatically his hands went to her in an effort to help. She stiffened for a moment and then relented as she knew his strong arms could securely get her comfortable. Finally situated with her back against the head board, cushioned with pillows, she looked at him and smiled.

“I’m sorry,” they both blurted out at the same time.  Unaccustomed to such synchronicity these days, they laughed.  It was a sound also rarely heard. 

“You first,” he said.  His hands grasped hers and as was her way, she rubbed his thumb with hers as a sign of comfort.

“Ross, I don’t know why I flew at you like that. Well, actually I do, because I think this whole smuggling venture is just courting disaster. And it’s true I can’t and won’t live with the uncertainty or waiting for you to be caught in something again. But I should not have screamed at you and run.  It appears that is my demeanor these days; to goad you and then be angry when you respond.  Perhaps it’s my condition.”  She paused and waited for him to reply.  What she got was a raised eyebrow and tilt of the head.  They both knew her condition had nothing to do with her feelings on this or any other matter recently. 

“Fine, “she conceded.  “It’s not my condition.  It’s just dealing with your headstrong stubbornness that has pushed me to my limit. Do you not know how much I love you and that any chance you take with your life is taking a chance with mine as well?”   The strength of her voice belied the tears gathering.  “You have no idea what I went through in Bodmin.  None whatsoever. And to think that it might be repeated for some salt?  It’s more than I can bear. Especially now.”   She finished, at which point the tears easily fell down her cheeks to their clasped hands.

“My love, “he started.  “What you said about me can be related to you as well. Do you think I like standing by and watching you fish for our food while I try and make our finances work?  You risk your life and the life of our unborn child each time you do that. And it’s because of my actions that this is needed. So on top of my worrying that some harm will come to the two of you, there is guilt that I have put you in this position.  If I take on the smuggling for a short time, it’s because it will help get us to some safe ground sooner so you can stop what you’re doing.”

Demelza watched his face as he spoke and she saw, for the first time in all the month’s since he was acquitted, fear and guilt.  And her heart broke just a little.  This man, who has tried to be strong for everyone around him, except himself, was scared.  She knew that while the excitement of tub carrying was part of the attraction to Ross, he didn’t want any possibility of facing jail or worse, a noose. 

“Ross, stop it.”  She was insistent this time, no softness in her tone.  “I chose to go fishing. No one forced it on me.  Especially not you. And if I can help in any way that’s what I’ll do.  I’m stronger than you think in many ways.  I would never do anything to harm our child but I will not have you take on the burden of this family alone. We are married, for better or worse, and that means we share in everything.  I don’t like this smuggling for reasons I’ve stated before, but if you think that this will be a help to us, then so be it.  Promise me at the first sign that we no longer need this, you stop. Agreed?” 

Her face broke into a smile that Ross could not resist as her hand gripped his tighter, moving it to her stomach. She had felt their child moving during their fight earlier and even more so now.  Placing his hand on her body, he felt it too. Clear and decisive kicks.  Ross looked up at Demelza and felt tears well in his own eyes. 

“Seems our son has some definite ideas of his own, my love,” he said softly.  All the while his hand rubbed her stomach, soothing the babe inside. 

“Son?  What makes you so sure, Ross?”  Demelza questioned him. She herself had a feeling since first realizing she was carrying again that this child would be a boy.  Just as she knew the first time she was carrying a daughter.  Yet she didn’t want to say anything aloud.  Not because she was superstitious but because she was still not sure of Ross’ true feelings towards this pregnancy.  Now however, hearing the concern in his voice, seeing his face as he felt his son move, she knew that all would be well. 

“It’s just a feeling.  Besides, I’m sure you’ve already decided it was a boy as well, correct?” Ross gave her a knowing glance. 

“Perhaps,” she said quietly. 

“As I thought.  At least we are in agreement on this.” 

Leaning over, Ross slid his hand behind her head and brought her close for a kiss. As gentle as it seemed, the passion that lay behind it was felt by both.   Demelza’s hands raised and held his head in place so that she could give him every ounce of love she had in this one motion.  Pulling away, they rested their foreheads together, letting their breathing align.  After a few minutes, Ross broke the silence.

“And are we also in agreement that you will not go out in the boat unless someone is with you?”  

Demelza did not answer immediately. She knew he was only trying to protect her, but she still felt she needed to do this, with or without a chaperone.  However, Ross was right that taking unnecessary risks was not worth a pilchard, so she relented.  For now.

“Fine, Ross. As you wish. “

“Good. I’m glad that’s settled.” 

Satisfied he’d won this argument, he moved to sit next to her, gathering her close to lean on his shoulder, one hand playing with her hair, the other laying in her lap, linking his fingers with hers.

“And you will stop the smuggling as soon as possible, correct?”  She turned her to look at him. Gazing down at her face, seeing her determination, Ross could not deny her wish.

“Yes, Demelza. As soon as possible.”

Settling back against the headboard, both were lost in their own thoughts. Ross hadn’t felt Demelza stir and thought she had fallen asleep. He moved slightly to look down at her and saw that her eyes were closed but her breathing was not the steady meter of one who was asleep.  He slipped out from her embrace to get changed when she stirred and slid down further under the covers. 

“Jeremy”, she murmured. Ross’ head turned at the sound of her voice.  He thought her heard her say a name but wasn’t quite sure.

“What my love?”  He folded his breeches, putting them on a chair and moved back to the bed.  Sitting down next to her again, he waited for her to respond. 

“I want to call him Jeremy,” she repeated.  Her eyes opened and he saw brightness in them that replaced the tears from before.

“Jeremy? Where did you come up with that?” he asked.

“It just came to me.  Jeremy Poldark.  It sounds like a proper name for our son.”  Her eyes closed again and she curled into his side.

Ross knew that what they had promised each other earlier was as solid as a tower of sugar.   Yet, it was alright, because again they were one even if it didn’t appear so to the outside world. For in this room, in Nampara cottage, all that mattered was the two of them. And the new family member they would both fight to protect.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something that came to me.
> 
> Thank you to mmmuse for the once over and support.


End file.
